Adventures with Fang 2
by Natvv
Summary: I got an idea one boring day, and had my faithful captive, Angel, fulfill it for me. She managed to screw it up, though, and I'm stuck with my sort of OC: Fang 2.
1. SPARKLES !

Me: I just saw LION KING !! And I'm back home now. Well anyways, apparently my going to the gift shop was a 'rude outburst'. People these days !! Mehh, I'm sticking with mutants now. Oooh !! IDEA !! ANGEL !! COMPELL FANG TO LURVVE ME WITH YOUR MIND !!

Angel: Okeyy. Since I'm the good captive ;D

Total: Grrrr . . .

Me: WOOT !!

*Angel flies off*

Me: Ahemm. Ermm. Awkward silence ??? How about them crazy scientists ?? What about seven toes ?? Magoes ?? I slam the dusty disappearing mango in your face.

Total: What ??

Me: Speaking of faces, you're going to wake up one morning with Tang in your face !!!!!!!

Total: Should I be sc--[interrupted]

*Angel gets back w/ Fang*

Me:GOOD CAPTIVE !!!!!

*Angel skips upstairs*

Fang: Sunshine, Rainbows & PONIES !!!! All in one . . . Ooooh happy ponies are happy and joyful and yay3

Me:DAMMIT THIS IS FANG 2 !!! ANGEL !! YOU'RE SUCH A BAD CAPTIVE !!

*silence*

Me: Mehh. Fang 2's still schmexx. HEY FANG 2 !! WANNA MAKE OUT ??

Fang 2: No. I want a PONY . . . but I dont have a choice in this, do I ?

Me:NOPE ! You're my OC=I control you.

Fang 2: Technically I'm not an OC !!

Me: But I invented your cheerfulness !!

Fang 2: YAY YOU !!

---This is a lame attempt at a schmex page break that will show that this is a tad later---

Me: *sigh* I decided to do the right thing an have Angel "influence" a pony to be Fang 2's instead of kissing him.

Fang 2: PONY !!!!!!!! I name you Sparkles, pony !!!! I'm going to groom you, and show you, DRESSAGE !! OOH !! I'LL PUT BOWS IN YOUR MANE, TOO !!

Me: I lied . . . *suprise-kisses Fang 2 while he's too preoccupied with his pony*

Fang 2: HER NAME IS SPARKLES !!

Me: Blehh. I'm going to type this up into a oneshot.

Fang 2: I am NOT your tool to use for random oneshots !!

Me: Fine. I'll make it a series.

Fang2: I'd facepalm but Sparkles disapproves.

*awkward silence*

Crickets: Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.

Cobwebs: The noise a cobweb makes when it appears.

Me: Ooh I'm gonna spoof Barney. . . . I lurrve Fang, you love Fang, so lets get together and glomple Fang !!

Crickets: We will now resume chirping.

Cobwebs: We will now pretend to resume appearing, but in actuallity we'll be trying to beat out Crickets for being the first sign of awkward silence.

Me: I'm a proud innie-haver !!

Fang 2: Whoa that was random o.o

Me: Ahh I figured out my train of though !! Gaia Avvie Tattoos Solar Flare Tattoo Outties Belly Buttons Mine INNIE !!!!

*Awkward silence that is only awkward silence because the fight-to-the-death between Crickets and Cobwebs was a tie. Ouch.*

Me: POP . . . POP . . . POP . . ULARR !!

Fang 2: Sparkles is disappointed in your reference. Do better !! You can do it !! I have faith in you and your aura !! Or Karma is it ?

Me: Leave me alone, get out of my face !!!!!

Fang 2: That's a better one !!

Me: I mean it, though.

Fang 2: Why be so hurtful ?! WHY CAN'T THE WORLD JUST BE ONE BIG HAPPY MANGO ?! *sobs*

Me: What would you say if I said to you "Just go ahead and cry" ??

Fang 2: PERFECT.

Me: *glomples with love*


	2. Fangirl say whatt ! WURD

So, I'm kind of sick of the whole writing way, so I'm doing it like this this chapter. Haha, I said "this this" Get it ?! Do do ?! DOODOO ?! Ahh, forget it.

Just an FYI, all of these are done spellcheckless. I don't even proofread. So sorry for suckiness.

Fang 2's POV in here !!

-------------------------------------------------

Shit. The last thing I remember is Sparkles. I love Sparkles. Now I'm in this white room. White is pretty. I like bright blue better. And green. Green is cool. Why are my sentences so short ?? Perhaps to accent my joy and happiness ?? SQWEE.

But there were no windows. And no Sparkles. WAH !! I like the outside. It's so shiny and sunny. I like night, too, 'cos it's all twinkly and starry and moony. Hehe, moon.

This voice suddenly boomed over the speakers. It said "Hey !! I have you now, Fang !! You are MINE !!" The voice sounded girlish. Girlish is a funny word. Funny is happy, because I like funny. It's so cheerful and uplifting.

Seriously, though, who is this girl who has captured me ??

"I am . . ." it started.

I looked up in confusion.

"I am . . ." she tried again, after being interrupted by my facial expressions.

No way she's continuing now. Evil be gone !! I glared like Fang 1 is supposed to.

"I" OOH !! PERFECT SETUP !

I belted out, "'m a revolution !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WTF ?!" the preppy girlish voice exclaimed, "Fang doesn't sing !! Because he's emo and dark and schmex !!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH FANGYPOO ?!"

"PONIES !!" I shouted.

"BLAST !! The chloraform must have damaged his brain . . ."

"I CAN'T STAY AWAY . . . . . . AYYY !!!!!!!!!!"

"I'm NEVER buying chloraform from that AIDS-dealing hobo EVER again !!"

"ONE MISSION AT A TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!"

"He hurted my Fangypooo !!!!!"

Hehe. I'm pretty evil for someone so cheerful . . . "Moo."

"Noooo Fangypoo !!!!!!!!!!!"

Ooooh I'm going to have some fun now, "I'm not your Fangypoo," I said in a monotone.

"Who are you then ??" The voice sounded shocked.

"I am . . ."

"Yes ??"

"I'M A REVOLUTION !!"

"STUPID HOBO !"

"Want to know who I really am ??"

"Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more, tell me more !!"

"I am . . ." -dramatic pause, folks- ". . . your fathurhhhh."

I distincly heard the sound of a facepalm through the speakers.

I did a happy dance.

Feeling whimsical, I decided to improv a happy dance song. "I am mister happy dance, I dance and dance and dance and dance, 'cos I am mister happy dance, who dances dances like a squash, butternut and papayas like, DANCE DANCE DANCE !!!"

Silence this time. I'm missing those crickets and cobwebs more and more every day.

"I lurve you Fangypoo. Come back to me !! You can beat Erasers, so don't let a little chloraform hold you down !!"

"I told you, I ain't no Fangypoo yo sista from another mista !! Wurdd."

"GangstyFangyPoopyPoo ??"

"Yo yo just say poopypoo that be so jank yo no !! Yo yo !! No no !! Wurdd."

"Pout !!"

"Yo yo yiggity yo whatsa cracka lackin' in da hizz house ma homie G dawgg ??"

"I'm a LITTLE G !!"

"BIG G !!"

"LITTLE G !!"

"BIG G !!"

"LITTLE G !!"

"BIG G !!"

"LITTLE G !!"

"BIG G !!"

"LITTLE G !!"

"BIG G !!"

"LITTLE G !!"

"Don't gimme no pop no pop, don't gimme no tea no tea, just gimme that milk MOO MOO MOO MOO !! Just gimme that milk MOO MOO MOO MOO !!"

"So, Big G Dawg Fang . . ."

"Nope. Not me."

"Blast."

"Give up ??"

"Yepp."

"Me be Fang 2. PONIES !!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!! MY ARCH ENEMY . . . . FANG 2 !!!!!!!!!!!"

_______________________________________________

A/N ooooooh . . . Fang 2 has an arch enemy ?? STAY THE FLIP TUNED !!!

By the way -- REVIEWERS: Me lurffles you !!! *glomples Vera A, Beachrat-dot-com, M.G Christiani, and meself [with lurvve]*

AND . . . I'm going to be kidnapping Nudge. Unless anyone already has her. And I'm getting a tad captive-greedy. I mean I have Angel, Total, AND Fang 2. But I want Nudge, so if nobody has reviews telling me you already have her I'll have her next chapter. I sooo want her 'cos she's like me: you can tell by this A/N.

And for clarification this IS NOT a oneshot. If you haven't figuhred it out by now. If you have: Throw a Fang=Schmexx party for yourself: You've earned it for yerr smartness.

And if you haven't found out yet: THERE'S GOING TO BE AN "ADULT" VERSION OF FANG [the next book] !!!!!!!!!!!!!! *WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE*

;D

BLARGH.


	3. Oh shiznaps

Oh shizznaps. That is not . . .

She burst through the door.

It was . . . TRACI !!

Le'gasp !!

Let me fill you in on a background story: I was skipping through a meadow enjoying the nice breeze and sunshine when a psycho fangirl of Fang ran up to me and threw me in a sack. She tied me to a bed and did horrible things. Horrible wink wink things. I manages to get the duct tape off and shout, "I'm Fang 2, you sicko !!"

But it was too late.

Shudder.

Anger filled each of our eyes in a stare off. We were making large circles around each other, and I burst into a leap, then an illusion, potta bur ey [spelled wrong methinks], and then I started my improved show tune.

"Oh no !! It can not be !! But it is !!"

I did a triple axle.

"Arch enemy, she is TRACIIII !! Psychofangirlpsychofangirlpsychofangirl," jazz hands and foot stomp, time for my big, loud, high, finish, "Traccciiiiii, mussstttttt, ggooooooo, DIIIEEEEEE !! Dun dun !! boom."

Then she pounced on me.

Biznatch.

I tripped her and whistled for Sparkles.

My trusty pony pranced into my horridly blank cell. A bright radius of light came off her fur where I put glitter on her. Her beDazzled tail gave a disco ball effect, and Traci looked straight into it.

"AHHH !! I BE BLIND FROM HAPPINESS !!" She shrieked before collapsing to the ground, blind.

I hopped on Sparkles' back and we pranced out of the room. We were rounding the next corner, and opening the exit, and oh SHIZNAPS. It's Nat . . .

"Fang 2 !! You're my OC !! You don't go running off like that !! BAD !!" She started off.

"I was kidnappified !! Woooohooo she's BLIND. And sowwiness !"

"Wanna know how you can make it up ??"

"How ??"

"Make out session with you and your scmexxiness inherited from Fang"

I sighed, "And . . . since I'm your OC I have no choice, am I right ?"

"AND BINGOOOO WAS HIS NAMMMOOOOOOO !!!" We sang in harmony.

_____________________________________________________________________

Nudge: So I've been kidnapped, and it's actually kind of okay so far. I mean everyone refers to being a fugitive as a really bad thing, but it's actually kind of okay. Angel isn't even mind controlling Nat, and she and I are good captives, but Total's not so Nat keeps duct taping his fur and we're having sooooooo much FUN !!

Fang 2: FUN BUDDY !!  
Nudge: FUN BUDDY !!  
*both glomple each other with love*

Fang 2: Want to dye Sparkles' fur purrdy colours ??  
Nudge: Pushhhaawwwww !!

Angel: Can I give Sparkles a tutu ??  
Fang 2: SHIZNAPS YEAH !!

Me: Go ahead.

Total: So am I the good captive now ??  
Me: Shurr.

[this next part was added after uploading and reading reviews ;D]

I'm too lazy to reply to the reviews individually and OMIGOD. Blehh ignore me, I'm just watching The Strangers. AHH !! BEHIND YOU !! SO I'm replying --GAH !! GET THE GUN !!-- in here.

Vera A - Yeshh there is one, unless I 100% misread the page xD

M.G Christiani - Well, Nesses are cool. So are Nessies. I wish Nessie was real, but it turns out it was just an elephant. Tear D':

Angel Ride's Ghost - I just like being original though xD We have same person . . . oh well xD Angel: HAII !!

BTW it got too scary so I changed it to Grey's Anatomy. xP

George is going to die. That SERIOUSLY sucks, but it was him or Izzie, and Izzie is my fave char, so I'm glad he's dying in a way xP

M.G Christiani


	4. Moula dood ! hehe ! DOODY !

So. We were home. And this is my POV, and I am Nat. Pushawww.

"Nat !!! Nat !!! Nat !!! Nat !!!" I heard a chorus of 'Nat's and footsteps running towards me. Maybe having captives isn't such a good idea . . .

"We neeed MONEY," Angel said.

"Not from me," I replied. Short and not-so-sweet.

"Don't make me mind control you . . ."

I popped on my foil hat.

"Crapkabobs."

"THAT'S MY WORD," I shouted, "PLUS, YOU'RE SIX--"

"Seven !!!!!!!"

"--SO WHY ARE YOU SAYING 'CRAP' ?!"

"'Cos I don't have money."

"Go into child prostitution then."

"Okay !!" She shouted happily.

I shouted back to her as loudly as possible, "I WAS JOKING !! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTER NOT !!"

"She won't !!" Nudge shouted.

"GOOD !!" I shouted back. Shout shout shout. This word is being overused . . . wait . . .

"NUDGE !! YOU BETTER NOT EITHER !! AND FANG 2 ?! NO GIGILO-BEING !" I . . . guess what . . . SHOUTED. Shout.

I heard a chorus of "aw"s. These are some cracked birdkids . . . they be trippin' yo. Wurdd.

My inner-gangsta was interrupted by Total skipping and twirling down the stairs in a tutu, singing at the top of his doggy lungs.

"I'm too sexy for my skirt, too sexy for my skirts, so sexy it hurts !! And I'm to sexy for my mom, to sexy for my mom, New York and egg pan !! And I'm too sexy for ya potty !! Too sexy for ya potty !! No way I'm deco pauging !! I'm a momma ya know what I mean, and I do my little turn in the cat box, yeah, in the cat box, yeah, I shake my little tush in the cat box !!"

"ANGEL !!! QUIT MIND-CONTROLLING TOTAL !! AND IF YOU'RE GONNA AT LEAST GET THE FLIPPIN' LYRICS RIGHT !!" I . . . shouted.

"SHOUT SHOUT SHOUT."

"SHOUT !!"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SHOUT !"

"SCREAM !"

"Le'gasp !"

"Seriously. How are we gonna get moula ??"

I sing this next bit to the tune of Untouched . . . "I need moula you need CASH CASH !! A la la la !! La la la la !! You can la la la la la la I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want don't stop, gimme gimme gimme yo money ney ney--"

"MY EARS !! THEY BLEED !!" Total shouted.

"I have an idea for money . . ." Fang 2 suddenly said with an accent, while stroking a non-existant beard.

-----------------------------------

Check my Twitter for something el importanto ;D

CharahForevah


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